I thought about a lot of things yesterday. I even thought about writing a post just about my mother. But I didn’t get round to it. I wondered if that made me a bad daughter. Hmm, I think I was a good daughter. I wasn’t perfect. I made mistakes. I made a lot of mistakes and wish at times I could take them back. But I am pretty sure my mom loved me anyway.
I thought about when I became a mom for the first time. How much I loved holding my little baby girl. I was only 18. I was a baby myself. But I didn’t think so. I loved being a mom.
Ahhhhh then I became a mom 2 more times. Well I guess I never stopped being a mom after my first baby….
I was still very young. 24 when my 3rd baby was born.
I made mistakes. I made plenty of mistakes. Yeah, I would like some do-overs.
I think my children turned out to be pretty darn good. So I guess I didn’t do to bad as a mom when they were still at home.
I tried to protect them from life’s bad stuff, I kissed their boo-boo’s and sang them lullaby’s and played games with them. Of course we didn’t have a lot of money so they didn’t get lots and lots of toys or video games or i-pads and electronic things, because those things were not invented yet. Even cell phones were not invented. I survived getting stuck on the side of the road because I didn’t put gas in the car…and I had to walk to a pay phone to get Bob to bring me some gas in a can. He was not happy.
I think I was a good mom. I still get hugs and kisses from my grown up kids and they tell me they love me.
Bob tells me I was a good mom.
It is hard to convince yourself sometimes when you think, maybe if I had done this or that differently.
But I think the birthday cake I made for Natalie when she was 11 out of a Jiffy cake mix that cost a dollar….and then frosting the cake with another cake mix because I thought it was a frosting box…well, that’s being a good mom isn’t it? At least we went to the ice skating rink afterwards. I will always remember that cake. Good think we can laugh about it.
I do know that raising children when you are young has a lot to do with energy, because I could never do it if I was well, older-ish. Being a grandma is fun, it is like being a really cool mom except you don’t have to be mean, you can always be really nice. Most of the time. 99.9% of the time.
I like being a mom. 99.9% of the time.
I loved my mom. I wish I had told her more often that I loved her. She was one special lady. I didn’t realize how special until she wasn’t around anymore. We sort of fought a lot. Even when I became a mom myself (I was sooo young) I thought I knew it all and knew how to raise 3 kids… when my mom raised 7. Boy I didn’t have a clue. (sigh) But I am sure she knows how much I still love her, and miss her. For some reason this Mother’s Day I have really missed her. Maybe because I am finally understanding……finally…….after all these years…..how hard it can be sometimes to be a mom.
Never wanting to change a minute of it.
And those are my thoughts on me being a mom.
